Eyelash pulling child
I remember going into my mom’s sewing room and cutting them. I’m not real sure WHY I did it.. but I distinctly remember doing it.
The second thing that I can recall is standing in front of my mirror not long after, and my friend saying to me “If you don’t stop, you’re going to pull them all out.” I turned and looked in the mirror, and sure enough, there was a huge space on my eyelid with no eyelashes.
I’m 18 now, and I’ve struggled with it ever since I was a little girl. I was always really embarrassed to go out, and I started wearing really dark make-up during 10th grade to, maybe, cover up my bald eyelids. I’ve tried fake lashes before, but the glue is made to hold to hair, which is porous.. Not oily skin. I’ve also tried growing them out. It’s seems to be a lot harder for me than some of the people who’s stories I’ve read.
I’ve grown them out about three times, but I always go back to pulling when something stressful happens.. a recurring thing in a teenager’s life.
I’ve also started on my eyebrows, and, if I don’t stop, I won’t have anything left.
I’ve noticed that I do some pretty strange stuff with the hair that I’ve pulled. I stick my eyebrows on the mirror (they stick because of the wet roots). Those are usually the eyebrows that are meant to be pulled, such as the strays that occasionally grow back from my shaping that was done five years ago. I love to collect them. I also pull out and eyelash or eyebrow, and then rub what I pulled up against my bottom lip.. maybe to see if it’s there or something. Sometimes I even chew on them. I also tease-pull, where I don’t pull one out, but I kind of tug on it.. this tends to make them sore, and then I have to pull them out because of the pain from the constant irritation.
Recently, I’ve noticed that I’ve devloped a twitch in my face (eye area) that I believe is related to the Trichotillomania, though I’m not sure. It seems to be a neverending battle. I haven’t found a cure for it, and I’m afraid that maybe I’ll lose hope.
I sit here trying not to pull as I write this.. it’s been three days since my last major pulling, and I’m trying to fight the urge that pulls me away from keeping that record. I also hope that this helps others, as well.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.