Has overcome trich and found pull-freedom
I started to pull out my eyelashes when I was 7 years old.
First of all it was just a couple before I went to sleep at night and it seemed to calm me down so I could sleep better. Then I realised I had started to do at other times during the day. Usually if I was feeling stressed or bored. I started to notice little clumps of lashes were missing but never imagined anyone would notice.
Then one night I don’t know why but when I woke up I had pulled them all out. My eyes were all red and puffy and felt really sore but I was still pleased I’d done it. I remember feeling really relieved. When I got up for school that morning my Mum turned to look at me and started screaming at me asking what I’d done.
I felt really guilty but every time they started grow back I pulled them out again, telling myself that the really short re-growth would look silly.
My parents were really worried and took me to see different doctors who couldn’t tell us anything. They were concerned about eye infections but after being told to cleanse my eyes properly the problem was pushed to one side and no-one talked about it.
My cousin wanted my sisters and I to be bridesmaids at her wedding but was really put off when she saw my eyes, which was really upsetting. We had a makeup artist in to try and cover it up and I remember all my relations standing round, staring at me, and I felt like I was in a freak show.
Not long after that, my parents started checking my eyes every night to see if any had grown back but of course they hadn’t because I was still doing it.
When I was 10 we moved house and I decided I didn’t want to start a new school looking like I did and so trained myself to only pull a few out each night, not enough to make a difference.
All together it took 4 years for my eyelashes to completely recover.
When they started to grow back the itching was insane and sometimes I really don’t know how I ever grew them all back.
They are now lovely and thick, and I try to take pride in them which stops me doing it but I would be a liar if I didn’t say that even now at 19, starting Uni, I don’t feel the need to pull sometimes.
I was really pleased to come across the site because I feel that the more that is known about TTM, the better it will be for sufferers and their families. Just knowing you’re not the only one has really helped me to cope and I hope that telling my story will help other ‘trichsters’.