Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 5:00 am Post subject: i keep pulling my hair out and i can't stop!!!
it has been a long time since i have written.
i have recently started binge pulling like crazy. my parts are getting thin and i am having a hard time just finding a part in my hair that isn't thinning. i am absolutely pulling without noticing and if i do notice, i just keep pulling anyway. i am eating almost all the ends and taking a few seconds to inspect each hair before disregarding it onto the floor.
i am wearing a hat right now- even when i go to bed but it isn't stopping me. i just reach right up underneathe it and even move it off my head. and even now as i type, if i take a pause my hand automatically goes right to my head.
i've been looking into getting some therapy for my pulling- i honestly have tried and tried but i need somebody there to help me and hold my hand a tell me that i am doing ok. it is very hard to do this by myself and it really upsets me. i don't know why i cannot control this- it is a horrible feeling to not be in control of my own bodily movements.
my goal will be to get by for one hour starting now to maybe see if i can control myself from not pulling one hair?
and i am the worst all or nothing thinker- it seems if i have a good day but i pull one, i have ruined the day. i really need to realize that i need to give myself some more credit but it is also hard to change my thought process when i have thought like this for so long.
and i am really getting some anxiety as the new year comes- along with the trichotillomania i do have some signs of ocd as well. i like to start things on the 1st of the month and because it is coming to the new year, i really want to start off my pull-free-a-thon with a nice start.
Joined: Apr 15, 2006 Posts: 6296 Location: North Carolina x
Posted: Mon Dec 24, 2007 2:40 pm Post subject:
Please do start a pull freeathon, I think it will help you. I have fought this monster for over thirty years and have been where you are. Please consider supplements and nutritional support as well, it helps so much. If your bodies are fed right, the it causes less stress to our brains. Also exercise has helped me so much. It relieves stress in a much more positive way. I have OCD too and can find it more exhausting then trichotillomania. I tend to have black/white thinking, and also very compulsive about different things. I am finally getting ok with shades of gray in my life, but it is not easy. The stress from OCD would often precipitate the pulling. Anyway, you must celebrate ever urge your resist. Don't look so far ahead, just live in the moment. These moments will build gradually and eventually you will realize you are having days/weeks/months pull free. I am sure someone who specializes in CBT be able to help you control the urges. Have you considered the therapy here on the site? I have not taken it but so many have said how much of a help it has been to them.
Hang in there Roxanna, keep trying and please keep posting. I would love to hear how you are getting along.
Rachel _________________ Just for today I will be happy, I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.
thank you so much for your support. it does mean a lot just to have someone verbalize thoughts back to you.
you make some very valid points, particularly about exercising and eating well. i have noticed before when i am taking better care of myself, i tend to pull less but i have never really made that connection until you mentioned it. i suppose juse all around feeling better does increase chances of not pulling.
i have taken cbt training in the past and i will be taking it again in the new year so i am really looking forward to that.
and again, you are right in the fact that i should be living moment to moment.
i really appreciate your reply and i hope you have a very merry christmas.
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